theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
