i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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