guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
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