but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
