she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
