I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
