it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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