ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
