But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
