And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
