Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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