Kiss
Puke
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
