this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
