she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
