Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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