I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I will be naked everywhere
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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