I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize