I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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