so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
