Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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