I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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