so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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