There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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