Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
