guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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