i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
