You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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