Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
