Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
