So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
