Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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