yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
