my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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