so explain again why im purple
no
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
