Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
