I am in a vortex of obligation.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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