my vag is so smooth its legendary
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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