What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
