so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
