And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
