I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
