This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I forget how to act sober
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize