I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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