idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
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Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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