okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
