I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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