i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
