I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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