I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize