He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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