only if we run a train.
done.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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