I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
