Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my shit smells like andre
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
