im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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