OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
