96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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