Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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