we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
