had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
