did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
