i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
