Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize