He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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