I'm jealous of your bromance
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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